Running and fitness jokes and tips from a collection of books


I have to admit, I’m not as obsessed with running or walking as I was in my youth. With so many rainy days lately, my outdoor adventures are limited. In my youth, I walked to the door with a baseball cap to keep the rain out of my glasses. With more time indoors, I thought it would be beneficial to clean up around the house and the workshop and put things in some sort of order. It was evident that a few areas had not been cleaned or organized for many years.

On a shelf of older books, I found texts that I bought when I first started running and was looking for advice on this sport. There was the Consumers Reports book on “Running” which was instructive. Then I found Bill Squires’ “Improve Your Run” written in 1982 which is still relevant today. The Fox and Mathews book “Interval Training” had a publication date of 1974. When I first started running marathons, Skip Brown and John Graham’s book “Target 26” was read cover to cover. ‘other. There was no publication date in the book, but a list of marathon times stopped at 1980. There were several other books on running and training around this time.

In the different piles of material on the race, I found three posters that I had pinned on my wall. One was a poem called “Why am I running?” I liked it. There is a poster that says, “Running is not always for the rapids, but for those who keep running. It was a photo of a runner watching a long road down into a scenic valley and up a long hill. It looked like he had about a mile or more to go on this country road. It reminded me of some of the photos taken on my best half marathon with runners struggling to climb that big hill on Center Point Road. Next, my favorite poster showed a runner bent over losing most of his pre-race meal with the caption “Running for fun”. It reminded me of some memories of similar experiences.

There was a booklet called “The Real Running Guide” by Ira Altman, Martin Riskin and Herbert Kavet, published in 1979. The book was a humorous look at running. The booklet had chapters on various aspects of running. His statistics read: “Running will reduce the risk of a heart attack by up to 45%. Of course, this also increases your chances of being run over under a truck by 600%. Another section had Famous Running Records. For example, the smelly pair of sneakers ever produced by a runner was that of Imlek Buchenzny, a Russian jogger, which produced such a malevolent and pungent odor that moths were killed mid-flight at a distance of four miles. every time he took the sneakers off his feet.

The section on warm-up exercises was good. Exercises such as “sit” – “Take a comfortable chair and sit down.” Do it for as long as you can take it. The “touch the toes of your running shoes” exercise offered this advice: “A good muscle stretcher. Do it 20 times. But put your shoes on the kitchen counter first, or you’ll get hurt.

Another section had a list of calories burned during the run. The more activity you do while you run, the more calories you burn. The basic run per mile is equivalent to 300 calories; per mile of talking about it equals 68 calories; running into a dog is 42 calories; a large dog equals 72 calories; and each beer dodged equals 27 calories. Washing your running gear after 26 weeks of use equals 732 calories. Some activities associated with running added calories. The three beers to replace liquids are equivalent to 270 calories; potato chips for salt loss equals 400 calories; and chocolate for energy equals 625 calories.

Some of the great events in the history of running include the invention of running shoes by the Greeks in 2073 BC. In 1893, Thomas Edison invented the luminous sneakers. Other sections included a “Runner’s Quiz,” “Running Strategies,” a “Running Grin Guide” for runners’ facial expressions and a “How’s it done? »Chapter. He asked, “How come? “If there is a run over animal on the road, it’s still on your side, and” How come? »Of cars slowly overtaking you, 75% have faulty exhausts.

One of the last chapters was written by Dr Feelgood, who answered your common questions. One of them caught my eye when a runner asked “Are runners getting older than other runners?” The Dr replied, “Yes, only earlier.” The last page contained the runner’s prayer: “Please, God, stop the pain”.


About Author

Comments are closed.