News of the Weird: Licensed Human Puppies, Craigslist Weed Sale and Dwarf Cows for a Cleaner Environment in India


photo by Steve p2008

Who is a good boy?

Life is good now for British men who identify as dogs and puppies, as evidenced by a BBC documentary (“Secret Life of the Human Pups”) showing men in full bodied attire (including a Dalmatian in Lycra , “Spot”), showing off sexual expressions (rubbing stomachs, tickling ears and sniffing their manipulators), eating from bowls, gnawing on chew toys, wearing necklaces and jumping in the air for treats. (However, decency requires a puppy to only pretend to urinate against a lamppost.) Spot (aka Tom) said, “It’s about being allowed to behave in a way that feels natural, even primitive. ” Added “Bootbrush”, “(We) are trying to capture the positive elements of the dog archetype.”

New world order

• As an alternative to the more expensive in vitro fertilization, researchers at an institute in Dresden, Germany, announced (in the recent journal Nano Letters) that they had developed a motorized device small enough to fit around the tail of the body. ‘a sperm and that could be commanded to propel it to’ swim ‘faster to the target egg, thus increasing the chances of fertilization. A prototype is still in preparation.

• Internet porn giant PornHub recently added to the glut of fitness “apps” with one designed to help users tone sexual muscles. BangFit routines include ‘squat and push’, ‘mission press’ and other ways of doing what the company describes as “the one activity that people are always motivated to do and (for) which they don’t.” are never too busy ”. (Imagine, for example, writes, “quantify (ment) your dry bumps.”)

The crisis continues

As Libya’s central bank struggles to stabilize a failing economy, it could surely use the $ 184 million in gold and silver coins that Moamer Kadhafi struck but left buried in an underground vault in the coastal city of Beyda, but the treasury is inaccessible because central bank officials do not know the combination of the lock (as reported by the Wall Street Journal in May). The last plan is to run a locksmith through a 16 x 16 inch hole in the concrete wall of the exterior vault and once inside to have a try. If unsuccessful, government bureaucrats are unlikely to be able to be paid, but even if successful, various anti-government factions can go to extremes to snatch the coins.

Brilliant Ideas

Argentinian TV stations have many of the same taboos as US shows, including restrictions on practical demonstrations by women on exactly how to screen for breast cancer. However, as AdWeek reported in March, agency David Buenos Aires apparently solved the problem with an explicit public service television ad featuring a model (facing camera, topless) showing exactly how such a examination should take place, for example, where to press, where to squeeze. The secret? The model was an overweight man with generously sized “male breasts”.

Wait what?

• A video surfaced in May of students at Winston Churchill High School in San Antonio, Texas, playing skipping rope with the intestines of cats that had been dissected in biology class. Obviously, People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals was not satisfied, but school district officials called this exercise a valid demonstration of “organ tensile strength” and reluctantly agreed to investigate. further.

• When 20-year-old Triston Chase missed his April court date in Harnett County, North Carolina on charges of financial fraud, it was revealed that his arrest in December took place after he had been arrested. found illegally “residing” as a civilian in a barracks at Fort Bragg – in a facility housing the 3rd Army Special Forces Group. According to a prosecutor, Chase had been posing as an explosives ordnance specialist “for months.” The official investigation into the “security” of the Special Forces barracks was still ongoing at the time of Chase’s hearing.

Everyone deserves a second chance

• Efrain Delgado-Rosales was sentenced to five years in prison in March for smuggling non-citizens into the country. (The border patrol had caught him 23 times before, but refused to press charges.)

• Sean Pelfrey, 38, told his judge in May that the two assault charges against him in Framingham, Mass., Did not make him a “threat to society”, even though the current arrest was his 38th .

• Matthew Freeland, 29, was convicted of multiple home invasion offenses in Kingston, Ont., In May, and the judge, considering an appropriate sentence, found only two prior probation orders – but, looking further, found 59 convictions and sentenced Freeland to over two years in prison.


Among the critters life is most difficult for are the male spiders which (according to May’s research in the journal Biology Letters) instinctively “woo” females with food wrapped in silk – offerings that (a) increase the chances of males to score and (b) decrease their chances of the female spontaneously eating the male by 84%. The study also found that males sometimes tried to mate using non-food items wrapped in silk (with mixed results) and also that sometimes unscrupulous females accepted food gifts but nonetheless immediately devoured the male. .

Least Skilled Criminals

• Chutzpah from South Carolina! James Kinley III, 27, was indicted in York County, South Carolina, in May on trafficking in marijuana. He apparently had the (unfounded) belief that York County MPs weren’t monitoring Craigslist – because that’s where Kinley advertised (“I sell weed”), in a notice with his photo , its address and its price ($ 200).


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• Grady Carlson, 58, visited the Carolina Title Loans office in Spartanburg, SC on May 25 to apply for a high-interest “payday” loan – and answered questions nervously. Caroline’s employee asked if something was wrong, and Carlson reportedly revealed he needed the money fast – to buy meth! A subsequent police search uncovered a glass container and drugs.

Recurring themes (Cow Edition)

For years India has worried about the gas release problem posed by its nearly 300 million cows (and 200 million gas-intensive animals), but researchers in the state of Kerala have revealed a promising reproductive response in May: dwarf cows (about fourth the size, producing slightly less milk but one seventh the manure and one tenth the methane). (Pound for pound, methane traps 25 times more heat than carbon dioxide.) (Bonus: The New York Times Style Book now apparently accepts the word “fart” in official copy – while noting that “belching” is the much more serious methane. problem.)

This article originally appeared in issue 201 of Little Village.

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